God Speaking

In the midst of a difficult weekend for me, God spoke.

I have been so focused on how I can protect my boys, both spiritually and physically, and God addressed those needs in a very direct way.

Saturday evening as Michael was getting ready for us to go to his sister & brother-in-law's anniversary party, I sat in his chair and opened his Bible. I opened it mid-way, aiming for the Psalms. Instead it opened to Isaiah. I decided to read right where it opened. It was Isaiah 44:1-5:

"But now listen, O Jacob, my servant, Israel, whom I have chosen. This is what the LORD says— He who made you, who formed you in the womb, and who will help you: Do not be afraid, O Jacob, My servant, Jeshurun, whom I have chosen. For I will pour water on the thirsty land, and streams on the dry ground; I will pour out My Spirit on your offspring, and My blessing on your descendants. They will spring up like grass in a meadow, like poplar trees by flowing streams. One will say, 'I belong to the LORD '; another will call himself by the name of Jacob; still another will write on his hand, 'The LORD's,' and will take the name Israel."

I sat in the chair with tears in my eyes and all I could say was, "Thank You, God."

Because God knew that my heart could use some confirmation, He already had that in place for Sunday morning, the time He knew would be hardest of all for me this weekend. As a DVD clip for the next sermon series ("The Contender") was playing, verses were being flashed up on the screen. When this one flashed up, Michael squeezed my hand as we both teared up. It too was from Isaiah ... Isaiah 49:25:

I will contend with those who contend with you, and your children I will save.

Because we were so focused on the verse itself, we didn't catch where it was found and so I had to go home to search for it. I was using the NASB version when I found it and its wording hit even harder:

For I will contend with the one who contends with you, And I will save your sons.

I know God spoke these promises directly to me this weekend and I believe Him. I have no control over the situation, but God has promised to do more than I ever could. My sons are in His hand.

I still need some creative suggestions on being more purposeful in our daily lives with teaching my boys about God and His love and their continual need for Him. And I still have thoughts and plans on how to try to use this whole situation for good.

Michael and I were talking about that and he thinks maybe I should start a website for single Christian moms where we could all share ideas and encourage one another in the raising of our children. I kinda like that one.

God's speaking to me actually started last Wednesday. I dropped the boys off at my mom's that morning so I could have a couple hours to myself to prepare for both the second half of the hearing, and for my second interview that same afternoon. I decided to start by having devotions. Again, I sat down and decided to read another Psalm. I had been doing that every night at bedtime and they had been a great comfort to me. I had a different Bible downstairs and just decided to use that one. The ribbon marker looked like it might be somewhere near the Psalms, so I opened to where it was marked. It opened to 1 Chronicles 20 and the verses I had highlighted jumped out at me:

"... nor do we know what to do, but our eyes are on You."

"Do not fear or be dismayed because ... the battle is not yours but God's."

"You need not fight in this battle; station yourselves, stand and see the salvation of the Lord on your behalf..."

Because of those verses, I was able to feel a peace about the hearing and focus instead on preparing for the interview.

I don't pretend to know why we didn't win everything in the hearing that day. But I have to remind myself that when God makes a promise, He always keeps it ... even though it is sometimes delayed by days or months or years.

God also spoke to me through others. On Wednesday, after all was said and done, the boys and I went up to Craig & Vickie's for dinner and to spend the night. When I got there, I saw this big, beautiful bouquet that Jill (Michael's cousin) had made for me, accompanied by an encouraging card "from God".

(*On a total sidenote, this picture was taken 5 days after the bouquet was made -- the hydrangeas aren't as full and vibrant, and the boys have ransacked some of the fruit.)

Yesterday after church and lunch together, Michael's aunt, Valerie, told me she regularly prays a prayer of protection over her children (from not only physical danger, but also spiritual warfare) and that she was going to add my boys' names to the list each time she prayed.

And then yesterday evening when we got to my place, Michael helped me find a package from Brenda that had been delivered the day before ... a book, and a homemade CD with some of the most encouraging and appropriate worship music. I have already listened to it 4 times and it is so soothing to my soul.

Thank you, all of you.